I’m here to help

Rules

1. The word is FOLIAGE: It’s not prounounced FOILAGE;
2. The word is ETCETERA: It’s not pronounced EXCETERA;
3. The word is ESPRESSO, it is not pronounced EXPRESSO. Therefore, you cannot name your business “Expresso Yourself.”
4. “Your” = e.g. “Your snowmobile ran into my Sushi shop.” Something which belongs to you.
5. “You’re” = “You’re the biggest fan of Journey. You’re an idiot.” Let the apostrophe be your guide. It’s just a mark that says ‘this is normally two words’. So ask yourself, what two words are they?

Bonus Politenessman Rule: When asked if you would care for more coffee or wheatgrass juice, always say, “Thank you” before you say yes or no.

N.B. If you doubt the importance of these rules, just remember that my boss who pronounced “moot” as “MUTE” and used the word a lot, just got fired.

This is the result of spending two days in Cloquet, Minnesota. I am like a colonial Brit living in Inja. I can’t lose touch with my more cultivated native tongue or I shall be no better than the heathens.

Okay, two more, but that’s it!

1. Don’t do drugs.
2. Many, many, MANY cops are assholes. Especially cops named David Verdeveen Vereeken, a Minnesota State Highway Patrolman in Carlton County.

p.s. And yes, once I remember how to dink around with these .css settings, I’ll fix that big grey bar on the left and those weird links on the right.

Your only protection against the dreaded Kancho!

http://www.zazzle.com/whetink

If you don’t know what kancho is, back up against the nearest wall and make your way to one of these t-shirts. They’re made by a friend of mine who teaches English in Japan and in return, gains the cultural wisdom of a fifth grader.

I love my kancho dame shirt Thomas brought me over Christimas, but I might be needing a girl version. Of course, the sushi and camera shirts are much more sophisticated and I want those, too.

Session Log Out

You are a camel. You are flying through the eye of a needle.

All is well in the world.

Lovely with a nice brown shirt

The best part about this powerful symbol is that it’s just so JAP. And so affordable! Only $11! Buy one for the whole B’nai B’rith gang. Put it on your Hannukah wish list!

My Baby Deserves a Hell Ride

I can’t stop this vomity feeling and that’s just the kind of birtday gift my darling husband deserves.

Queensry(umlaut)che (who?) is coming to town on Saturday and they’re going to be riding Buells (ahem, HARLEY-DAVIDSONS). I agreed to join him. (Here comes that feeling.) I’ll be riding about 4 hours behind them. First, because I don’t want to be a part of this and second, because I’ll catch up with them in about 8 seconds.

They’re playing at The Myth nightclub. This will be my second visit there this summer. The bathroom sinks have hot and cold running Red Bull.

Please G-d, don’t let me die on this ride and if I do, cover for me and say I was somewhere else.

P.S. What *is* a Queensryche anyways?